Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
