I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
