just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
and she was petting her beer can
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
