the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
