O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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