We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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