Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
