Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
