i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
