I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
