I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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