and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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