The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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