I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My dick has a subreddit
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
