I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
