PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
