scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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