im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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