I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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