Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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