Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
should my penis look like a turkey
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
