It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
