tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need to wash the frat house off of me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
