It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
