He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
