every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
