i just had sex bonerless
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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