Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
