so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
