So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
