I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
