idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
