College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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