ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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