ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
