Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
