why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
