very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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