He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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