I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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