wrigley field is MILF paradise
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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