She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
