so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
