Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
