What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
