i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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