doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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