where am i from again
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
