Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
