He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
All I want is dick and wine.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
