I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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