Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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