Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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